Understanding Attachment and How It Impacts Relationship: Private therapy in Newcastle
We offer private therapy in Newcastle. As a Counselling Psychologist I’ve trained in psychodynamic therapy that looks back to earlier relations to understand the here and now experience. The concept of attachment was first introduced by the British psychiatrist John Bowlby in the 1950s. Bowlby believed that attachment is a fundamental human need and plays a crucial role in our social and emotional development. He proposed that the quality of our early attachments shapes our beliefs about ourselves and others, and influences our ability to form healthy relationships in the future.
“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other. - Osho
Attachment is often described as a biologically-based instinct that promotes survival and protection. Infants instinctively seek proximity to their caregivers, as they rely on them for food, warmth, and safety. Through repeated interactions and consistent care, a secure attachment develops, providing a secure base from which the child can explore the world and seek comfort when needed. As a psychologist and the way I work I feel this is one domain that is important however I take a slightly different view as I believe our working internal model is developed and influenced by other factors that’s not caregivers. I talk about this within therapy. I also believe accounting only for attachment does not take a holistic approach for the person. There are benefits and limitations of all theories and a pluaristic approach is important within therapy.
According to Bowlby there are different types of attachment styles that can develop based on the quality of the caregiver-child relationship. The most commonly recognised attachment styles are secure attachment, anxious attachment, and avoidant attachment. Securely attached individuals tend to have positive views of themselves and others, while anxiously attached individuals may be overly dependent and seek constant reassurance. Avoidantly attached individuals may have difficulty forming close relationships and may avoid emotional intimacy.
Understanding attachment is important because it influences our relationships and overall well-being. Research has shown that individuals with secure attachments tend to have better mental health, higher self-esteem, and more satisfying relationships. I also believe we can be secure in some areas of our life and then intimate relations might have different attachment. Attachment is more complex than what a blog post can summarise. However by learning about attachment, we can gain insight into our own attachment style.
Private therapy in Newcastle